Sunny Says: Renewal of Vows are Special Too!
Got a destination wedding etiquette question or just need destination wedding advice? Sunny’s your guide! This week’s question is all about renewal of vows.
“I’m interested in a renewal of vows for our 25 year anniversary in Montego Bay. Is it appropriate to wear white for my vow renewal and is is appropriate to ask guests to travel to Jamaica at their cost for my vow renewal? I guess I should add that when I got married 25 years ago my husband and I got married on the military base with just the two of us.” – Stacey.
First of all, congratulations on your upcoming 25th year anniversary! You must be so excited! I know I would be over the moon; 25 years (the silver wedding anniversary, by the way) is a really big one to celebrate.
To be honest with you, most people treat their vow renewals like a second (or third or fourth) wedding- it is, after all, a re-commitment ceremony. What this means is that you will take new vows or a more detailed version of your old ones and bind yourself closer to the man that you married 25 years ago. Since your first wedding was definitely more intimate than this one, I can truly understand you wanting to have a bigger ceremony now with your friends and family in tow. While you may feel a bit unreasonable asking guests to attend a second wedding, much less one in Jamaica, consider the fact that your first wedding had no guests at all. This means the guests you are asking to join in your celebration now never got to attend any wedding of yours in the first place!
Much like a first destination wedding invitation, the only thing you have to worry about is extending the invitation. Whether or not your guests can cover that cost is something they will have to figure out. It is appropriate to extend an invitation to the ones that you love in a reasonable amount of time (no later than 6 months before the wedding) and hope they can make it. I would advise against mentioning that this trip can be “a mini-vacation” , as some may find it bold of you to dictate when and where a vacation should be taken.
I do recommend that you express how much it would mean to you and your husband to have them be a part of the big wedding you never got to have. It can’t hurt to include in your “renewal invitations” where you intend to retie the knot! If you’re planning on keeping it casual – you can just mention your desired location to your guests and let them know they can check out the locations website if they wish. Then you can let them know more formal invitations and an itinerary will come later on once you can get a confirmed number of guests.
Last but not least, of course you can wear white at your vow renewal ceremony! You can wear whatever you want; it’s your second wedding day! Most renewal brides tend to keep it simple and way more relaxed the second time around but white is typically still worn. This is your second chance at the grand ceremony you didn’t get to have; I say, go for it!
I hope you enjoy every minute of your renewal of vows, you deserve it!”